There’s one thing that stops coaches from going to the next level.
And it has nothing to do with their business challenges.
It’s their emotional challenges.
I had an experience early in my career that made me feel like I was going to be a failure.
I remember my first ‘real job’ out of college where after only 11 months I almost got fired. I was getting performance managed in that job and my boss told me that I won’t be successful in the industry.
I abruptly resigned…right before they were about to fire me, but it didn’t matter.
The real scars were on the inside.
I saw myself as a failure.
This created a real emotional block for me.
Every time I started a new job I had this gray cloud over me. I felt like I was trapped.
It wasn’t until I resolved this emotion that I was able to feel free.
The crazy thing is that I look back now and I’m so grateful I had that experience. In fact, if it wasn’t for that experience I probably would never have started my business! I would never have built a company that serves thousands of people around the world…i.e. YOU!
At the time it was horrible, but now I look back and I’m so glad it happened.
One of my good friends Diana Guintu has this fantastic process called H.E.A.L.
It’s a specific process for removing emotional blocks that you have in your past so you can step into your future with confidence.
We unpacked her four steps to resolving emotional trauma on the Expert Edge Podcast this week, and I wanted to take you through the first 2 steps right now!
1. Honor your pain
The first step in her process is about honoring your pain. So often in life, it’s easy to just keep pushing through, to move on, to tell yourself “I should just get over it”. In fact, you probably “should” on yourself all the time.
You say things like “this shouldn’t bother me”, “I should just move on”, “I should just feel better”. The problem is that this doesn’t help. To truly move through the emotional trauma or block you must first honor how you feel. This first part of the process is about what Diana calls allowing the ‘pain to peak’. I’d never heard someone describe this, when Diana unpacked this idea of allowing your pain to peak so that it can resolve, it made so much sense.
- Have you honored the pain in your past?
- Have you allowed your pain to peak? (because if it never peaks it will never come down the other side and resolve)
2. Examine your thoughts
In the second part of her process she talks about examining the thoughts you have about yourself and your past trauma.
Most of us don’t examine what she calls our ‘distortion thoughts’. These are the thoughts you have about your trauma. These thoughts tend to be very distorted which when left unexamined block us from ever resolving the trauma.
In this second step, you must examine the real thoughts you have about your pain and your trauma. When you face your real thoughts you can both take control of them and start resolving them.
Have you examined your ‘distortion thoughts’ about your pain?
These are just the first two steps of the four-step process that Diana took me and our listeners through on the Expert Edge podcast this week.
This was a fantastic episode so if you like these two points make sure to head over and listen and follow the podcast!
Colin ‘Emotional Freedom’ Boyd
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